Yesterday I went to see not only my therapist, but also my back-curing guy. This man has done wonders with my back. I’ve had severe back pain ever since I gave birth more than a year ago, and have tried everything conventional medicine and Traditional Chinese Medicine had to offer – or so I thought. When I didn’t know what else to do, a friend recommended this guy who is practising acupuncture massage, a concept I had never heard of before, but which is the most effective therapy for stress-induced back pain I know of. Yesterday was only the third appointment, and my pain is completely gone.
After this wonderful experience (an hour of this treatment is like going to a spa for a whole day), I went to my church, since I was in the area and hadn’t been there for a while. It was the middle of the day, so the church was empty, which suited me just fine.
I don’t know exactly what it is that makes me feel so comfortable in this place – the smell, the atmosphere, the calm and quietude – but it does.
They had hung a painting of a naked baby off the balustrades, which touched me immensely, because I have been feeling exactly like that when confronted with questions of religion and faith. Actually, now that I think about it: I think I have been feeling like this when confronted with life in general. I feel like the very small child I once was, totally dependent, vulnerable, helpless, in need of basically everything, and also (even though the painting didn’t depict that) very much afraid. However, there are new voices and feelings developing inside me, telling me that it really is okay to feel like this. That I’m not alone. That I needn’t be afraid.
I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful that feels.